


From A Young Age

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: I'm Sorry [17]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:59:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: On the flight to Bruce's private island, Tim recalls when he learned self-harm would gain him attention - any attention - from his parents and recalls the first time he ever met Dick Grayson





	From A Young Age

**Author's Note:**

> Editing was fucked up so this is technically the third upload of this in case anyone was wondering

From a very young age, Timothy Drake knew his parents were too busy for him. He’d been born for attention but once that had worn off, he was handed off to his nanny and that was that.

Every now and again, he was shoved into a suit and put at his parent’s side when they needed him to make a public appearance, but otherwise he remained alone with only himself to keep company.

The first time his parents ever gave him any attention, Tim didn’t realize that that’s what it was at first.

  
He was twelve. He’d been walking through the halls while reading, not watching where he was going, when he tripped down the stairs.

It wasn’t the first time he’d fallen, though it was the first time he’d fallen into the vase at the bottom of the stairs.

 

He winced, glancing down at the huge cut on his palm where a slice of vase had cut into his skin.

“Timothy!”

He looked up to find his father running towards him, grabbing him by the wrists and hauling him up, looking around at the broken vase.

“What happened?” his father demanded, glaring at him.

  
“I wasn’t watching where I was going,” Tim replied, surprised his father was actually talking to him. Amazed the man even knew his name.

  
“Look what you did!” Jack snapped, shaking Tim. “You cut yourself and broke your mother’s favorite vase.”

  
Tim blinked. Really? This was...all it took to get attention?

  
“Sorry,” he said. “About the vase.”

  
He wasn’t sorry about getting cut.

 

…………..

 

He waited another month or two, testing. He broke another vase but neither Jack or Janet gave it another glance.

  
But if he got blood somewhere...if he cut himself...then they paid attention. Sure, sometimes it resulted in abuse and sometimes they hit him out of frustration, but it was worth it. They were giving him attention!

  
So he continued to cut himself, scar himself, do anything he could to get his parent’s attention, either abusive or caring, he didn’t care at this point.

 

………….

He was at some gala his parents had been invited to and as always, he was dragged along for some added publicity and maybe to prove to the police that he was still alive.

  
As he usually chose to do, he walked around with his parents for the first few minutes before finally moving to the corner or outskirts of the party until his parents were ready to leave.

  
“Hey.”

  
Tim looked over and found a young man walking towards him a few hours into the party.

  
“You’re Dick Grayson,” Tim said, pushing himself off the wall.

  
Dick gave a laugh that seemed a little strained. “You recognize me, huh?”

  
“You get a lot of attention in my house.” _And I’m jealous_.

  
Dick laughed again. “Hey,” he said, leaning against the wall and gesturing for Tim to relax. “Let me tell you something. Attention isn’t always the best thing.”

  
“Oh?”

  
“Don’t get me wrong, I love...physical touch,” Dick said after choosing the right word. “I was raised in the circus. I’m a very touchy person. But...alright, yes. I do like attention. Just not this kind.” he gestured to the crowd. “Believe me, you’re better off in the shadows.”

  
“Why?”

  
Dick’s smile was hiding something, Tim noted. “Because,” Dick said quietly. “No one really knows what you’re thinking until it’s too late. You can plan murder and no one would think anything of it.”

  
Tim blinked slowly. “Are...you planning murder?”

  
Dick laughed loudly, this time the sound was more real. “Yeah maybe,” he said with a smile. “Don’t worry. If I did kill someone, they’d never be missed. It would be someone everyone hated.”

  
Tim frowned. “Like the Joker?”

  
Dick’s expression frowned and he looked almost hurt. “Yeah,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest and gazing off into the crowd. “Like him.”

…………...

 

Tim jerked awake, looking around.

 

They were still on Bruce’s private jet to the island. Jason was typing away on his phone, Damian was reading, and Dick had fallen asleep, head lolling on Jason's shoulder.

  
“He told me,” Tim whispered, drawing Jason and Damian’s attention.

  
“Told you?” Jason asked. “Told you what?”

  
“I met Dick at a gala a few years before Bruce took me in,” Tim said, voice low. “And we were talking about attention and everyone knowing your name and watching you.”

  
“Alright,” Jason said slowly. “What of it?”

  
“He said he liked being in the shadows because no one can know what you’re thinking,” Tim said, gazing sadly at Dick. “He said you could...plan murder and no one would know.”

  
“Dick was planning murder?”

  
“Yeah,” Tim said softly “His own.”


End file.
